I help a lot of children and teenagers with their own levels of happiness and when we discuss possibilities around happiness and that happiness is just a choice, they really do start to see it all very clearly. We speak about scenarios of simplicity, where we can simply choose happiness. We imagine walking into a sweet shop and choosing to buy chocolate or sweets. We then relate this to happiness - you can choose happiness, or you can choose something else.
As adults however, we tend to question this concept more and I am not sure why. Perhaps it’s because we have more responsibility? Perhaps it feels too selfish to choose happiness? Perhaps it’s because we have been conditioned to believe that some people are happy and that we get what we are given, and we just don’t deserve to be happy? Perhaps it’s because our negative mental chatter rears its ugly head and takes over? Well, let me say this much, happiness is your birth right!
I have found that it is much harder to be happy in adverse circumstances and high-pressure situations. It requires much more of a conscious effort to stay on top of your own emotions and align to happiness. I know this much though; happiness is strongly linked to confidence and self-esteem.
Studies have found children with high levels of self-confidence perform better at school and, later in life, have higher levels of job satisfaction. Self-esteem is also strongly linked to happiness, with higher levels of self-esteem predicting higher levels of happiness.
When it comes to the effects on your levels of confidence, meditation essentially trains your brain to dissociate itself from the constant ‘mental chatter’ going on inside your head – the ‘mental chatter’ that causes you to lose confidence and get anxious in the first place.
Meditation allows you to realise that you don’t have to listen to the voice inside your head ... especially when it’s being negative and focusing on ‘bad’ things about yourself (e.g. how you look, what people think about you, etc). Think of it this way: when you’re feeling confident it’s almost always accompanied by a complete lack of thinking. You’re in the zone... you don’t think, you just do! So, developing a meditation practice will work wonders for your confidence (and happiness) … enough said!
Have a go at this simple visualisation.
Balance the mind. Imagine a pair of scales in your mind. Imagine that this pair of scales represents your mind. One side logic; one side intuition. Visualise the scales in your mind as perfectly balanced. Both your mind and your emotions must be well-balanced and functioning optimally for you to achieve the happiness, health, and success you really want. By planting this balanced image in your mind, and returning to it when you need to, you can stay focused on what you want to create and make of yourself.
Furthermore, let’s look at ‘the ideal’ and that word, you know, the one that’s not real … perfection!!
Accept imperfection. Let go of what you think is ‘the ideal’. Let go of what you think perfection looks like. Life is perfection in all its imperfections. Don’t let a need for perfection slow you down in accomplishing your goals. Good is good enough. Perfection isn’t real. And if you are looking for or waiting for perfection, you are always shifting the goal posts. You will continue to live your life chasing perfection. What is perfect to you? What does it look like / feel like? Moments can be perfect, but life on the whole cannot. Perfection is imperfection.
To conclude here, happiness is a habit - cultivate it! It is most definitely an inside job and essentially it is an acquired skill set. You make happiness possible to reside deep within you. Nothing external can bring happiness (they can contribute for sure, but our happiness is crafted within). Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy.
“Happiness comes from you. No one else can make you happy. You make you happy.”
Lots of love, (bringing you more) Hope xox
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