I always remember those feelings of anticipation before the expected phone call. Or seeing it was them on the phone sending a message or calling; looking forward to the contact and feeling happy that they are making an effort.
If, however, you find yourself being distracted, indifferent or just downright irritated by their contact, this is a big red flag. A sign that you could be falling out of love with your partner.
Have you ever had those humdinger arguments, filled with not just anger, but passion and wanting to get your point across? Meanwhile listening to their point of view to create mutual understanding and respect for one another. Remember those? Wasn’t the fun in making up and seeing each other’s’ viewpoints?
When you can no longer be bothered to argue… this is another big red flag, the love is being lost as you, or they, are not fighting for the relationship.
On the flipside, there is the ‘compromise’. Where, previously, you would both compromise and give ground as a way forward, knowing you cannot agree on everything.
When you no longer wish to compromise, you are stopping the ‘we’ and becoming the ‘me’. Red flag. You notice that your happiness, fulfilment and satisfaction are no longer on their list of priorities… but nor are theirs to you.
When we no longer consistently factor in our partner’s happiness, we’re showing we are not overly bothered by how they feel. Red flag.
One of the lovely things about being in a relationship is that you never feel alone. You feel that you have your partners love, support, compassion and understanding. You do not have to agree with everything, but there is respect for the relationship and each other’s opinions.
Have you ever felt like you do not have this, that sense of feeling abandoned or alone? Or you are not bothered that your partner possibly feels alone? Red flag.
When you start to think about your own future, but not making plans with your partner, this is another red flag. You do not see them, or the relationship, in your future. Likewise, when you have absolutely no plans with your partner in the near future, let alone the distant future, that is another red flag.
Part of being in a loving relationship is also the physical love, not just the emotional intimacy. When you do not want to touch your partner or let them touch you, this is a red flag. When their cuddle annoys you; when you want to pull away, then this is a red flag. Afterall, we might cuddle a virtual stranger when they are upset, yet we do not want to cuddle our partner?
My final point is one of the first things I noticed when I fell out of love. We all have those little phrases we use; little quirks and almost ‘odd’ things that we do. Initially they are cute and make us smile, but when our partner’s quirks and oddities annoy us, or we start to see them as silly, this is a big red flag.
If you are feeling like this or you have noticed certain aspects from your partner towards you, then the love needs to be looked at and bit of a rekindling needs starting.
Every relationship can be saved if both parties want it to be. But being aware of the red flags means you can hopefully head them off before they grip on. It is easy to let a relationship slide, it is much harder to make it work. Remember, the easy option is always the hardest option in the long run…
Hugs,
Shelly x
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